hhhmmm

i dont seem to be into this blogging thing anymore.
i think i got tired of listening to my self over and over again lol.
or i am just plain lazy lol
and now i see one of my fav's has disapeared :( i am so bummed-
but jamie whatever you decided to do i hope it is going well for you :)

in the dog house..

why does seem like this whole week i have done nothing but fight with everyone?? and i didnt even intend to do it! ugh. i dotn have pms either- i am really worried that i might be a bitch for real and not even know it!! i would ahte that. i strive every day to me kind and nice to all or at least i think i do. it is so frustrating!
for instance, i jsut heard one of my resident's tell their family that i was a freak with a bad temper!! i ahve never in my life been called either of those!! and i even go to therapy to learn how to me more assertive!! i was so stunned and hurt i coudlnt ignore it - i approached her and thanked her for calling me a freak. her repsonse- " you needed to hear that, your not vey nice and i am not afraind to tell you" WHAT?? oh that didnt feel good atall. considering the nights int he last 2 weeks i have been up with this oldie massaging the cramp in her hip brining her heat packs etc. and now i am mean? ugh. yeah i lost it.; i told her i dont want to ever hear her say that again and i didnt appreciate it all! i know she is older and we arent suppose to lose our cool or let them know they get to us- but i couldn take it. now i do feel like a bitch lol. but arent i human too? how long does one have to go ontaking the insults day after day and keep smiling like we dont care? hhmmi wonder

kick me when i am down ...

i really dont think i can take much more of this .....
nor do i want too.

Selfishness...

Have you ever met someone who was just plain selfish? I mean really totally selfish? If you have something they need or want, they will jsut help themselves without asking you? If they get into trouble or hurt they think we owe them bc they are entitled! Entitled to what?? And why is it my problem if someone else has an issue? Maybe that sounds selfish of me but hell , dont i have issues? and what about my issues? If i am expected to become absorbed with someone else's problems then that means i dont get any help with my own! So am i jsut suppose to put my shit on the back burner? I love helping ppl . It is what i do. i enjoy it . But i do not enjoy it when they think i owe them more than just a helping a hand! That's bullshit! And my stuff is not their stuff! I didnt work this hard and long to buy things for other ppl to just access at their convenience! Who the f does that?????
Apparetnly not me - and maybe i need too-

one hell of week....

yeah, it's been one of those

A Travesty....

The men's volleyball team wearing shirts????? SERIOUSLY??
What's the point of watching if i cant see the six pack of a toatally hot and sweaty guy?
The woman are wearing less this olympics than the men.
So not right.

Virgin Voter

LOL yesterday was the first time for me - voting for local gov that is . Never done that before. Being a new business owner inthe area and having had to deal with some assholes on the board i was all fired up to get them out and move on lol.
SO all that ambition and anxious waiting to see who with better vision we as a community would elect to run this shit hole- nothing more than a few more old farts to replace the existing ones. NICE. We had a nice selection of new faces, a few in which i was dealry in hopes of takikng over. But nooo. We instead are replacing the old shits with new ones that they endorsed. Somehow I am not convinced this is a change for the better- just carrying on with the same old bullshit from before.
ugh. i hate politics.