Monday, February 18, 2008

old friends, new again...

Well, until recently i had no desire for anything my space. But then one day i got bored and thought ah what the hell. Then this weekend i got even more bored, yeah i need to get a life i know, and i decided to spend too much time decorating it. lol. It suddenly hit me that i was intereted in seeing who else had a my space. I found two people added one of them and even exchanged some fun emails. The third person i had found off of the list. I wasnt sure if it was her or not. However, what gave it away was the pic of her dog on the bed, the messy bed! lol She never made her bed!! And sure enough i have found my girl friend that i have been looking for for like 7 years!!!! And as i am totally exstatic (sp)to find her and have her receive me with as much enthusiasm, it feels bittersweet. I was looking through her myspace page. I was looking at all these pictured and nto one of them has me in it. I have missed so manythings in her life! Her graduating grad school, getting married, moving, etc.. I wanted to be there for all of those things and i wasnt. I missed itall!! All the things we talked about when we were younger. I just feel like the worst ever! I mean i know she missed shit in my life too, but nothing that great. I just hope that we can pick up sort of where we left off and go one to have so much fun together!! But this lingering feeling of having missed out on everything it is the worst!! And i cant go back now. So i guess it is jsut this, try really hard no matter what not to lose touch with people that you are close to in your life!! Even wehn they move and you move half a dozen times keep it going . It wil l hurt you later on when you look back and they are gone. The relationship is halted and you realize you dont know where it went.

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