you can look at the menu, but you cant order....

I want something that i cannot have. Why? I know it is a waste of my time. I know it is againt any better judgement i might have. And i know it is totally wrong. So why do i want what i cant have??? And why no matter how hard i try to put it out of mind, to rationalize the realities of my insanity, why then does it still linger on in my mind? Maybe because i am so attracted to "it". Maybe becuase i have a profound curiosity that is slowly eating away at me lol. Either way i hate it . I absolutely hate the fact that i feel this way and just cant seem to let it go. Actually, i t hink it is like an addiction maybe. Very hard to kick a bad habbit. SO perhaps, this internal desire that i have to get my hands on something that really i have n o right too, have become a bad habit in my mind.