Tuesday, June 24, 2008

rollin' off the wagon..

i have rolled off. yup completely off. it has been two weeks since i hit the gym and three since i quit doing the program. it wasnt working and i coudlnt afford it. i know i can do this my self but for some reason i have no desire. i have never been like this! i ahve always had hard determination and a strong will . i have never let myself go like this before. i dont know why but i seem to have lost all interest in myself . its like a struggle everyday to just muster up the idea in my mind to even do my hair:(
constant thoughts of leaving are always there. desiring a better income and my own place- a condo . really quiet. peaceful. no one to have to tiptoe around worrrying about what i have done wrong and how i should strive to fix it.
whats the point?
complete disappointment.

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