Friday, July 13, 2007
Yes that is the word that a friend of mine taught me. Foo-barrd. To get drunk. lol. Once again getting drunk gets another nickname. It is cute i suppose. Not really much into getting drunk, wasted, trashed, or foo-barrd. But this week just seems to be so frustrating, that drinking with friends is deisred. Just want to have fun and not have to think about anything that happened in that last four days. I know there are better ways to cope with ones inadequacies. Every once in a while it is fun. Mind you i never actually get completely drunk. The idea of being t otally unable to conrol myself scares me. WHo knows what i could do. It is more fun to see my friends do those silly crazy things lol. Anyways, i have not heard from "him" since sunday. So i emiled him. And in that i asked him if he really wanted me to contiue to do so. Feel like i email him two three times a week and only hear from him once if i am lucky. It just feels like i am talking to cyber space. I feel bad. I miss him and I wish things could be like they were. I never understood how these t hings between people happen. You meet someone. Both agree after so many weeks, what have you, that you are taken with each other, cant believe how much you have in common with each other. And you can talk for hours with them and still have more to say the next day. Then poof. It changes. Not sure how or exactly when but it did. Niether says they want it ot end so they keep talking staying together and yet it still seems just not right. I feel like a crazy woman. Like all the feelings he said he had for me and i felt for him were just an illusion. Some fooliah dreaming on my part. But it seemed so real. I know i am a fool. I get that. Just wish sometimes that i never would have met him. So there, That is one reason to get foo-barrd.